


how can you call this a sleepover i didn't even bring my sleeping bag or anything

by bishounen_curious



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Locked In, M/M, Memes, Multi, Sleepovers, every cliche in the book
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 22:37:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7549933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bishounen_curious/pseuds/bishounen_curious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the SASO2016 Prompt: Remember when these three got locked in overnight in the gym?</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Or, remember when they all became very gay friends?</p>
            </blockquote>





	how can you call this a sleepover i didn't even bring my sleeping bag or anything

**Author's Note:**

> i still can't believe I produced this tbt to 8th grade

“Your jump serve is still formidable, Oikawa.”

The Seijoh setter just sneered as he chugged the last bit of water out of his bottle, and then wiping his sweaty face with the hem of his t-shirt. “Of course it is.” He didn’t mention that the reason his serve was as good as it was was that he practiced it for hours almost everyday. _Some of us aren’t geniuses, Ushiwaka._ “Do I hint some jealousy there?”

“Stop being a jerk.” Iwaizumi’s fist collided lightly with the setter’s side. Horrified, Oikawa glared at his best friend, absolutely scandalized and betrayed. _Support me in front of the enemy!_ But Iwaizumi’s face was telling him to back down.

_He’s not the enemy anymore,_ his eyes read. _It’s over._

Oikawa knew it was true, but it didn’t make him feel any more amiable in the least.

The Seijoh gym’s air was humid, and the smell of teenage boy sweat and fresh floor wax was all too familiar and pungent. In the back of his mind, Oikawa wondered if the Shiratorizawa gym ever smelled this way. Did it smell cleaner? Worse? Well, he’d never know. 

It’s not like he was ever invited to practice there. Nor had he ever asked to practice there, either.

Unlike a certain annoying, entitled dick did today.

What was worse was that Iwa-chan texted him back saying _yes. Bring the whole team if you want_. And of course, the whole team showed up, indeed.

Iwaizumi liked to do him dirty, but Oikawa never knew he’d strike such a low blow. If anything, it was downright sadistic, masochistic, even.

So a bit after club activities began, the entirety of Shiratorizawa, sans the coaches, had rolled up in their fancy bus. The teams swapped a few members, played a few practice sets, shared drills and practice regimens. It was all for fun, really. The season was over. Neither of them were going to nationals, after all. 

Everyone else had packed up and left a while ago. But the third years had stayed a bit longer. This was their last hurrah, after all. And even then, Matsukawa and Hanamaki skipped out early with the rest of the Shiratorizawa third years filing onto their bus. Tendou, that obnoxiously good blocker, had complained relentlessly, begging Ushijima to cut it out and come home with the team. _We’ve been here for hours. I want dinner already. I’ll even buy you udon, dude._ But Ushijima had just wiped his brow and told them he’d find a way home, convincing them that he still wanted to practice. Tendou had just rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue _have fun running home in the dark, pal_ and hopped on the bus, leaving without their captain on board.

It’d been just the three of them for an hour, just working on serves and spikes. Oikawa wouldn’t describe it as fun, but it sure as hell was insightful. Knowing how the monster ticked made him a whole lot less scary (and painted him in such a more aggravating light). Apparently, it was possible to hate him even more.

Iwaizumi cracked his neck. “How’re you getting home?”

They’d finished putting away the equipment and were heading towards the exit to go to the clubroom to change. Iwaizumi had already taken off his practice shirt ages ago, and was mopping at his neck. Oikawa just wrinkled his nose and mumbled some crude remarks under his breath.

Ushijima just shrugged. “I can jog.”

“You’re kidding.” The spiker deadpanned.

“It’s not that far.”

“It’s pretty fucking far.” Iwaizumi scoffed, rolling his eyes as he wiped at his forehead. Oikawa just loved the way Iwa-chan rolled his eyes. He’d take every petty victory he could get, today.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa crooned, “you forgot that our dear friend Ushiwaka never gets tired~”

Ushijima blinked, stopping in his tracks. “Of course I get tired.”

Oh, god. Oikawa wanted to punch him in the nose.

And he almost did, because he stopped in his tracks and had to suppress him popping a blood vessel, and was about to grab the other by those stupidly broad shoulders and shake some sense into him, _I’m being sarcastic, can’t you see how much I despise you -?_

“Oh, shit.”

Both captains turned to see Iwaizumi with his hand on the exit door, cradling his water bottle and shirt in his elbow. Neither of them caught on until Iwaizumi tried shoving the door open again, to no avail. It just thumped uselessly, movingly in the frame.

“We’re locked in.” 

Pure dread pooled in Oikawa’s belly. He felt sick.

“No, we’re not.” Maybe if Oikawa said that aloud, it’d be true.

Sadly, life didn’t work that way.

“Yeah, we are.” Iwaizumi kicked the door, his voice mounting with anger. “I’m gonna kick Makki and Mattsun’s ass. I know they did this.”

“Just call them.” Ushijima said plainly with a shrug. “They can come back and let us out.”

Oikawa started to laugh, even though none of this was even remotely funny. “Good thing Iwa-chan and I left our phones in the clubroom. I hope you have yours on you, big guy.”

Ushijima’s eyes widened fractionally. How did this guy barely emote? Did he not have emotions? Was he a robot or something? “Mine is also in the clubroom. I suppose we have a problem.”

Oh my god, this couldn’t be happening. 

Oikawa started to toss his empty water bottle between his hands, a nervous tick. He needed to fiddle with something or else his nerves were going to eat him alive. “So, what? Are we trapped or something?”

“This is the only exit.” Iwaizumi tried shoving at the door. “The other doorway’s been locked since the winter when the school remodeled. We’re stuck until those morons come and get us.”

“And,” Ushijima asked, voice gratingly leveled, “what if they don’t return?”

“We’re stuck then.” Iwaizumi turned around, and Oikawa was a little surprised he was handling his frustration that well. If Oikawa was a stranger, he would’ve thought Iwaizumi was perfectly alright with being locked all night in the gym with the world’s biggest douche canoe. But, Oikawa wasn’t a stranger, and he could see the tension in the spiker’s jaw, the dangerous, yet small glimmer in his eyes that meant _revenge_.

Oikawa would never be that composed. He idly wondered if he himself looked like he was on the brink of a tantrum. Because he definitely felt like he was.

“They’re dead.” Oikawa said through gritted teeth, clenching the water bottle. “ _Dead_.”

“Oh, they are.” Iwaizumi nodded, and leaned against the door, sliding to the floor to sit. “My foot’s going so far up both of their asses that they’re gonna taste my shoe.”

Ushijima narrowed his eyes in - disgust? Apprehension? - and didn’t say a word.

Alright, time to strategize. They wouldn’t get anywhere if they didn’t think this through. One, break the windows and crawl out. And get fined, expelled, whatever. Two, bang on the doors until some heard. Who the hell was here at this time of night? Okay, three, pull the fire alarm. Repeat number one. Four, murder Ushijima so they didn’t have to endure his insufferable personality. Jail didn’t sound that bad...

Oikawa wanted to scream. They were doomed.

Ushijima’s brow furrowed. “I’m hungry.” 

Oikawa was about to serve his water bottle into Ushijima’s skull. “So are we!”

“We’re not going to have dinner if we’re stuck,” the Shiratorizawa captain almost looked sad.

Iwaizumi blew all the air out of his lungs and deflated a bit into the door. “So what do you guys wanna do?”

“...Leave?” Oikawa snarked. Wasn’t that obvious?

“Unless you want to do that in a way that’s gonna get you suspended or expelled, we’re stuck. Outta luck.” Iwaizumi took a swig from his own bottle and closed his eyes. 

“We could have a conversation?”

Both Seijoh third years glared at him.”Really? A conversation?” Oikawa snorted. “Are you an idiot?”

Iwaizumi leaned forward to smack the setter’s calf. “Be nice.”

Oikawa desperately stared at his best friend, like a child that was getting scolded for something that he didn’t deserve. A pretty accurate similie, he thought. “But, _Iwa-chan_ -”

“- Ushijima.” Iwaizumi cut him off, crossing his arms. “What do you wanna talk about?”

That put the other captain into think mode, and Oikawa stood there, fuming. It was a few moments before Ushijima answered honestly. “Do either of you farm?”

Oikawa needed to leave. Immediately.

“No,” and Iwaizumi actually got up and physically had to restrain Oikawa, roughly forcing him to sit down next to him. Ushijima just blinked. He couldn’t see the spiker pinching the back of Oikawa’s arm, painfully reminding him to be civil. “Neither of us do. There’s a bit of farmland around the school, though.”

“I saw it on the way here.”

“It’s more urbanized, this area.” Iwaizumi said cooly, squeezing Oikawa harder when he tried fidgeting, trying to come up with some scathing remark.. “Only a few of the guys on our team are from farming families.”

“I see.” Ushijima nodded understandingly, and sat down. “My family farms.”

“We _know_.” Oikawa spat. He was rewarded with a smack to the back of his head. He gasped and shot Iwaizumi a betrayed look. _Just let me rip him apart, please._

“Why are you hitting him?” Ushijima asked, cocking his head to the side. “Aren’t you friends?”

“Best friends.” Oikawa smiled the fakest, most saccharine look he could muster. Iwaizumi almost gagged. “Right, Iwa-chan?”

“I’m adding your name to my ass-kicking list.”

Oikawa tried to kiss his cheek in retaliation and Iwaizumi shoved him away, bristling.

“Get me out of here,” Iwaizumi growled, and banged his fist against the door. 

There was a moment of quiet fighting, shoving and squeaking sneakers on the floor before Ushijima ventured curiously, “Are you dating?” 

Holy shit.

Alright, maybe this wasn't going to be awful. Thousands of brilliant ideas swarmed Oikawa’s brain, grinning terrifyingly wide before deciding to crawl back towards his “boyfriend” while making kissy faces. Iwaizumi turned bright red and tried to kick the setter away, all the while screaming that _never in a million years would I date this freak_.

Ushijima actually looked scared. Oikawa could use this to his advantage.

“Don’t listen, Ushiwaka! Iwa-chan is just shy~” Oikawa hopped up onto his tired legs and his expression turned even more evil. He blew the spiker a spiteful kiss and he loved watching Iwaizumi flush harder. “We’ve been in love forever! And we’ve already gone all the way, just so you know!”

Murderous, Iwaizumi looked positively murderous as he backtracked against the door, still on his butt. He was speechless and as red as a _peak of the harvest tomato_.

“All the way?” Ushijima started. “Like having sex -?”

“NO.” Iwaizumi was doing his best to not look like an embarrassed mess. But if anyone flustered at anything sexual, it was Iwaizumi Hajime. “Don’t listen to him. We’re friends, and that’s it!”

“Baby, don’t be embarrassed. We can tell him about _us_.”

“Tooru, I’m going to beat the _shit_ out of you.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me like that, Hajime.”

Ushijima was deathly silent during the fight until. “...So you’re not dating?”

“NO!” Iwaizumi at some point trapped the setter in a headlock. “Never have, never will.”

“Oh, okay.” Ushijima seemed relieved, and he smiled. “You two would make a bad couple.”

For some reason, that made Oikawa pissed. And Iwaizumi had the same knee-jerk reaction.

“Shut up,” both of them said in unison, glaring. Ushijima’s smile wiped off his face. Oikawa refused to feel bad for him.

“I don’t understand you two.” He wiped some of the sweat off his face with his own shirt. “Do you want to date or not?”

Iwaizumi let Oikawa go immediately. Both of them refused to look at one another and both inched away. 

“Next topic, please.” Oikawa coughed after a second, combing through his hair with his fingers in an attempt to fix it. That jerk messed it up, after all.

“Do you not have team relationships?” Ushijima adjusted his seat, crossing his legs. “Does your coach not allow them?”

What the hell? Oikawa side-eyed Iwaizumi. He was just as incredulous by that left-field comment. “Why…? Do you….?”

“Have had a team relationship?” When both Seijoh guys nodded, Ushijima shrugged. “A little bit.”

_Oh my god._

“WHO?” Oikawa asked/screech, leaning in closer. Iwaizumi was just as wide-eyed. This night was already a rollercoaster ride. “Ushiwaka, who was dumb enough to date you?!”

A bit of hurt flashed through his features, but he didn’t comment back on that. “I kissed Tendou a few times.”

Oikawa jumped up to his feet and screamed. “OH MY GOD.” Oikawa couldn’t stop pacing, covering his mouth, laughing. He must’ve looked hysterical, crazy even. Who cared? This was absolute gold. There were so many wonderful things he was learning. “You’re gay? With HIM?”

Ushijima frowned. “I don’t know what I am. But… I liked what we did together.”

“Iwa-chan, help me.” Oikawa flopped to the ground, crawled to the spiker and clung to his leg. He swore he was dying, going into shock, something. “I cannot believe this.”

“Chill out.” Iwaizumi said, but his words had no bite. He was thrown for as big a loop as his captain. “So… are you two… dating?”

Ushijima shrugged again. “No.”

But something hung in the air after that single word. Oikawa and Iwaizumi caught onto it, and didn’t let it go.

“Do you want to date?” Oikawa blurted, sitting back up besides Iwaizumi, intensely staring the other down. “Does he not want to? Or does he?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Oikawa squeezed Iwaizumi’s arms. Tacitly he tried to say _We found the holy grail. The golden child has boy troubles_.

Surprisingly, Iwaizumi looked sympathetic. “Is he giving you mixed signals?”

It was silent for a moment before Ushijima just shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

“Tell us what happened.” Oikawa wrapped his hands around his knees and remarked faux-cheerfully. “We have all night.”

 

\---

 

When Mattsun and Makki opened up the gym at six AM, with their breakfast half in their mouths, they didn’t expect to see the particular scene they were greeted with.

In the left corner of the gym, near all the padded mats, was the trio. Oikawa was sidled up in Iwaizumi’s lap, his head resting atop the spiker’s shoulder, the spiker’s arms wrapped loosely around his middle. But what was even weirder was Ushijima, sitting with impeccable posture, dark rims around his eyes, and he was chatting almost animatedly in the middle of a heated sentence.

“- then today I should tell him how I feel!”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa, their faces both pale and sleep-deprived, but equally as excited, nodded. “Yeah, you should. You’d both be happy.” Iwaizumi commented with a sleepy smile.

Makki and Mattsun almost screamed when Iwaizumi nuzzled the back of the captain’s neck. 

“Iwa-chan, that tickles.”

What was even more bizarre was that the trio didn’t seem to notice that they weren’t alone anymore. They were wrapped up in… whatever was going on. Mattsun elbowed Makki in the side, and mouthed, _what happened_.

_I’m terried. We need to leave immediately._

But that plan backfired as soon as it was suggested because Ushijima suddenly noticed the door was open.

“Hello!” He waved to the two third years.

“Dude, we need to run.” Makki whispered, taking a step back.

“Is this the twilight zone?”

“I dunno, dude. But I’m freaked right now.”

“Hey!” Iwaizumi yelled, his voice raspy from lack of sleep. “You did this to us, didn’t you?”

Both Makki and Mattsun shrugged, but Oikawa beat them to the punch.

“Iwa-chan, who cares anymore?” Oikawa leaned back into him, deliriously silly, and kissed his cheek. _Kissed his cheek_ , and Iwaizumi allowed it. “It wasn’t all that bad.”

The worst part was Iwaizumi seemed to not even care. He acted like that kiss was normal. “I’m starving.”

“I’m also incredibly hungry.” Ushijima stood up, rubbing at his bloodshot eyes. “I should eat before heading back to school.”

“Don’t go to school!” Oikawa slurred with a giggle. “Embrace your true love instead!”

“He’s at school. I’ll see him there.” Ushijima reminded gently, and smiled. Smiled fully, genuinely. Makki almost shat his pants.

Mattsun would have been distracted by that if he hadn’t suddenly caught Iwaizumi whispering in their captain’s ear, and witnessing Oikawa blush and cover his mouth.

“What even happened last night?” Makki blurted, staring incredulously at everyone. 

“We found love. All of us.” Ushijima said simply.

Makki and Mattsun turned to stare at one another. _Definitely the twilight zone._

**Author's Note:**

> bishounen-curious.tumblr.com


End file.
